


Some Nights

by super_queer



Series: Trans Yuri!!! On Ice Fics [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Transphobia, M/M, Periods, Self Confidence Issues, Sharing a Bed, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 10:34:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8664370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/super_queer/pseuds/super_queer
Summary: Some nights are better than others.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Focusing on dysphoria surrounding periods.

“Yuuri? Where are you going?” Victor said, mildly concerned as he watched Yuuri pass his door and walk down the hallway to his own room. 

Yuuri paused and turned to Victor, smiling sadly. “I just want to sleep alone for a couple nights, okay?”

Victor’s face hardened slightly. When they started dating, Yuuri was still hesitant to the idea of sleeping with Victor. However maybe a couple nights a week he allowed himself to sleep in there with him. Overtime the rate increased to an unspoken routine. They had been sleeping in Victor’s room together every night for nearly a month, things had been going so well. 

Victor walked over to Yuuri and took his hand, running his thumb over the younger man’s knuckles. “What happened?” He searched Yuuri’s face.

Yuuri’s heart sank at Victor’s expression. He put on the brightest smile he could muster. “Nothing, nothing. Everything’s fine!” He leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to the taller man’s mouth and turned away. He gave Victor’s fingers a small squeeze before slipping his hand out of his boyfriend’s grip. Victor stood motionless in the hallway as Yuuri stepped into his room and shut the door behind him. 

Victor sighed wistfully and looked down at his leg when he felt Makkachin nudge him. He ran his fingers through the soft curly hair on his head and walked into his own room. He collapsed onto his bed and rolled over to face where Yuuri would be laying on a normal night. He couldn’t help but think he’d done something to upset the skater. He laid in bed for a solid ten minutes, although it felt like hours, trying to fall asleep. 

Suddenly he shot up, startling the napping dog by his feet. Being that he was never the type to let stuff go, he felt a new wave of determination. He patted Makkachin in apology and slipped back out of bed and into the hallway.

He reached Yuuri’s door and held his hand up, prepared to knock when a soft shifting from inside stilled him. He carefully pressed his ear to the door so he could observe the activity. He didn’t want to wake Yuuri up if he was already asleep. 

It was quiet for a moment until Victor caught a small sniff on the other side. He would have dismissed it if it wasn’t followed by a low, sorrowful, whine and sharp intake of breath. Yuuri was crying. 

Victor pushed the door open slowly and when the hallway light fled the room Yuuri coughed a few times and rolled over. “Yuuri…” Victor said softly as he entered and closed the door behind him. 

Yuuri coughed a couple more times and pulled the blankets tight around himself, not facing Victor. “Hi.” He tried his hardest to sound normal.

Victor crept over to the bed and Yuuri felt the mattress dip when his coach sat next to him. He pulled the blanket off Yuuri’s head, exposing a reddened and tear stained face. Yuuri fought not to make eye contact when he felt Victor’s gaze and took a couple shaky breaths to calm down. 

“What’s wrong, lyubov moya?” He pushed Yuuri’s bangs out of his face and stroked his hair soothingly. 

“N-nothing, Victor. Go back to bed.” He choked out a sob and curled into himself more. 

Victor sighed and Yuuri felt the bed shift again. He was a little sad that Victor was actually leaving but he did tell him to, after all. However, instead of leaving, Victor was getting under the covers himself and lying down facing Yuuri.

Yuuri shook with new sobs, unsure why he was suddenly feeling so emotional. He turned toward Victor and buried his head in the other’s chest, clutching the fabric. He cried as softly as he could, stifling sniffles with coughs and whimpers. “…I’m sorry.” He manages.

“What so you have to be sorry for?” Victor wraps his arms around Yuri and presses a kiss to his hair. 

Yuuri shivers and tries to steady his breath while Victor waits patiently, rubbing soothing circles on his boyfriend’s back. “I’m sorry that… I’m sorry I’m a f-freak.” He whines again. “I’m sorry I c-can’t be a real m-man…” 

Victor continues rubbing Yuuri’s back and making gentle cooing sounds. Yuuri never speaks of his dysphoria, although Victor knows he must have it, even post top surgery and hormone treatments. Something specific must’ve triggered it. “Where did this come from?” He held Yuuri tighter when he shifted in his arms.

“I thought it was done…”

“What was done, sweetheart?”

“My… p-period.” He sounded repulsed. Victor’s heart ached for him. “I haven’t had it in a few months and I thought it finally stopped but it c-came back-“ he cut himself off with another sudden sob. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t want you to know! I’m so… d-disgusting!” Yuuri shook and breathed raggedly, hot tears streaming down his face and soaking Victor’s shirt. “You deserve so much better.”

Victor gently pried Yuuri’s face away from him so he could look into his eyes. Victor drew his eyebrows together. Yuuri was a wreck. His eyes were red and puffy, downcast and afraid of Victor’s scrutiny. He trembled when Victor cupped his jaw and brushed away tears with his thumbs. He leaned in and pressed kisses along the residual moisture. He waited for Yuuri’s unsteady breaths and shivers to subside. 

“Yuuri… You are no less of a man because of this. I love you so much, and there’s no one I’d rather be with.” Victor pressed his lips softly to the younger man’s forehead. 

Yuuri’s face crumbled and a few new tears fell and he hastily hid behind his hands and scrubbed his eyes. “R-really?”

“Of course, lyubov moya, of course.” He tried to move Yuuri’s hands but the skater just shook his head. “C’mon, let me see your handsome face.” He chuckled and ran his fingers through Yuuri’s hair. 

Yuuri peeked out from behind his fingers sniffing and smiling gently. “There’s my handsome man.” Victor said before pressing his lips to Yuuri’s. 

Yuuri smiled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around the Russian’s waist. “Thank you.” He murmured against Victor’s lips. He kissed him again before burrowing his head in his coach’ s neck and tightening his arms. “I love you, too.”

Victor hummed and began rubbing Yuuri’s back again. “You’ve got to tell me these things, darling, otherwise how will I know to give you chocolate and massages, hmm?” 

Yuuri shook with laughter. “I really love you. How did I get so lucky?” 

Victor hummed in thought. “I am pretty amazing.” He chuckled. “Are you in any pain?”

“Hmm… my hips hurt… and lower back…”

Victor moved his hands to the affected area and massaged slowly and carefully. Yuuri sighed contentedly, his breathing evening out and becoming slow. “So… can we sleep together again?” Victor asked after a few minutes, almost shy.

Yuuri didn’t answer, having already fallen asleep. Victor smiled down at him and continued rubbing in soothing motions until he fell asleep as well.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write this as a trans man that is currently having a horrible period. Blehhhhhhh. UPDATE: testosterone finally took her away :DDD


End file.
